You Were Never Alone
A SpeakOut! on Domestic Violence.
You Were Never Alone
Some days just come out swinging. You wake up craving nothing more than a double espresso Americano with your favorite flavor swirl and a barista who knows your name and smiles like they mean it. Instead, you’re five steps behind before the day even begins, thanks to a rogue Lego piece that ambushed your foot. Hopping on one foot like a circus act, muttering curses that would make your grandmother blush, you discover the bathroom rug staging its daily rebellion when it trips you like dynamite wire. The toothpaste tube is still playing hard to get, and yes, you knew it was empty three days ago, but denial is a warm blanket when the world is already cold.
We’ve all had those days, back-to-back wildfires of burnt dinners, flat tires, missed appointments, and bosses who woke up grouchy. Meanwhile, the rest of the world seems to glide along in perfect rhythm while you’re stuck in the corner, fighting chaos with a bent spoon and a prayer.
The truth is you are not alone. Not in frustration, not in grief, not even in joy. Not ever.
Last night, that truth came alive in a room full of strangers. The Sioux City chapter of the National Organization for Women (NOW), in collaboration with Erstwhile Studios, hosted a SpeakOut! A fierce, soul-baring revival of the raw, unfiltered gatherings that sparked solidarity and lit fires in the 1970s. Each of us reminded that even in the darkest of corners, we are truly never alone.
The room was softly lit, warm with the hum of nervous energy and quiet resolve. Twenty-two souls (seventeen women, two teenagers, and three men) sat in the comfort of healing teas and energizing coffee, surrounded by crystals and herbs that felt more like a sanctuary than a studio. Each person carrying a story. Some were whispered, some not spoken and some cracked open like thunder. Every word was met with nods, tears, and the kind of silence that says, I hear you. I believe you.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. It’s not just a calendar note, it’s a call to action. A reminder that behind every statistic is a person. A life. A story, and those stories deserve to be heard, honored, and never forgotten. It’s also a time to amplify voices, share resources, and honor the organizations that do this work every single day.
Yes, it’s 2025, and we’re still fighting this fight. Every minute in the United States, 24 people are victims of rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner. That’s over 12 million survivors a year. That’s more than the population of Iowa, Nebraska, and South Dakota combined.
It wasn’t until 1966 that New York allowed divorce on the grounds of cruel and inhumane treatment. Even then, survivors had to prove they’d been beaten “enough”, though the law never defined what “enough” meant. The state of Maine opened the first women’s shelter in 1967, but it took until 1975 for domestic violence to gain national traction. By 1989, the U.S. had 1,200 battered women’s programs sheltering 300,000 women and children annually.
Stalking wasn’t even considered a crime until 1990. The Violence Against Women Act didn’t pass until 1994. The National Domestic Violence Hotline wasn’t founded until 1996.
Today, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men in the U.S. have experienced rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner. Nearly half of all adults have endured psychological aggression. Women ages 18 to 34 face the highest rates, and among female victims, up to 81% were previously harmed by the same offender.
Brave and courageous women came forward last night to share some of the most tragic and deeply painful moments of their lives, for no other reason than an opportunity to say it … out loud. Others came to listen, to hold space for and witness the inspiring survival of others.
In a room full of strangers, understanding and compassion were found in abundance. These survivors of violence also found proof they were NOT and have never been alone.
When you hear a story that echoes your own, something shifts. You stop apologizing for surviving. You stop carrying a shame that was never yours. You begin to understand, silence is not permission and compliance is not consent. You begin to find the self you thought you had lost, the moment you realize you were never alone.
A collaboration of local writers and actors put together a string of monologues recently on Healing. Feel free to watch them all, as they are pretty great, or fast forward to Monologue 8, “Healing in the Fear” written by local NOW member.
Sources:
https://www.theglobalstatistics.com/united-states-domestic-violence-statistics/
https://www.breakthecycle.org/domestic-violence-statistics/
https://www.southdenvertherapy.com/blog/domestic-violence-statistics